Weight Obliteration

Day 2: Caving Into Cravings

Well I screwed it up.  I had a damn soda today.  Wild-Cherry Pepsi to be to be brutally honest.  I don't even know what I was thinking when I filled it up.  I stopped at Subway and got a somewhat health conscious sandwich and a low-fat bag of chips.  I kept telling myself I was going to get iced-tea or juice instead of a soda.  Obviously it completely slipped my mind when I actually went to fill up the cup.

I'm not killing myself over it though.  If anything it was a learning experience in that:

1. Old habits die hard.  The truth of the matter is that I did not consciously realize what I was doing.  I instinctively grabbed Wild-Cherry Pepsi because out of the choices that were there, that is what I would normally have picked.  It didn't even phase me that I had done that until I was already back at work, sitting at my desk and almost done with the drink.  It dawned on me at that time that I was doing my normal routine.
2. There is a physical effect.  Once I realized what I had done, it occurred to me that I was wide awake, I felt alive, I felt refreshed.  Up until that time there was no noticeable difference in how I felt just drinking water, but once I had the soda, I felt comfortable and awake.  Maybe it was the caffeine, maybe it was the sugar, maybe it was the carbonation.  It doesn't matter what it was though, the point is that there was a GOOD feeling that I had associated with the problem.
3. Trying to fix it sucks after you've screwed up.  The truth of the matter is that I had messed up and trying to go back to the water afterward really sucks.  I was fine beforehand.  I woke up, had my usual cup of coffee and kept the water at my side the rest of the time.  I never even thought twice about it, but the second that soda hit my mouth, that all changed.  I didn't want water anymore.  Granted, I'm aware that most of this is psychological and am not giving in again.  The water is back at my side and is taking precedence over anything else. 

Here's to the success of the rest of the day!

Day 1: Baby Steps

I ended the day last night with something I've always had a love/hate relationship with: Fast Food.  I don't know what it is about fast food that makes it so appealing other than the fact that it is a bachelor's best friend.  I don't like to cook unless I'm outside on the grill and I don't like keeping food in the house that will go bad in less than a week.  I'm usually on the go between work, play and other activities so my days are more often than not very full.  Furthermore, I'm not a rich guy, I have a modest income and live comfortably but to me, if I'm spending more than $10 a day on my meals, I feel as though I'm getting ripped off, unless of course I'm dining out with friends or something.  This leaves me with just a few options and fast food easily ranks at the top of that list.

Now that doesn't mean I have it everyday by any means, however, I would say I do have it for about 3 or 4 meals a week, which is more than I should.  I don't supersize my orders, and more often than not I don't finish the last bite of a sandwich or the last couple of fries.  I want to put this in perspective because so many people talk about eating more than they need to, always finishing their meals, or eating even when full.  I am not a victim of any of that stuff.  I fall short with things like snacking, grabbing a bag of chips to munch on because I'm bored or antsy, keeping a soda with me at all times, and if I want the taste of something, I usually go ahead and get that something, such as ice-cream or popcorn.  Otherwise, my meals are no larger than the average persons plate... BUT they are probably a bit worse in nutrition.

So last night I had fast food.  Arby's as a matter of fact.  It was a roast beef sandwich with cheddar cheese and bacon, curly fries and a root beer.  I figured my official start date is TODAY and I might as well make one nice trip to savor the last bit of enjoyment I was going to have of the old me.  Well there was nothing to write home about, I enjoyed the meal with a buddy of mine and ended the night changing guitar strings before heading off to bed.  I watched some TV and did some thinking about my new life which starts when I wake up.

Today has come like any other, there is nothing spectacular to report, no wisdom or insight to give, no light-bulb flickering in my head... no it's just an average day with average work, but for day one I did make one little adjustment.

There's a key statement I made a couple paragraphs up that I want to highlight and that is: keeping a soda with me at all times.  Step one today is NO SODA.  Let's savor that for a moment, shall we?

NO SODA

That's right, no soda.  Some of you may read this and think it's no big deal, but if you have any type of physical or emotional addiction, replace that addiction with soda (Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper) and that is what we are dealing with here.  Imagine the cigarette smoker who quits cold turkey, replace the smokes with a can of Pepsi and that's what we're dealing with.  I bet it's safe to say on average, I have 4 to 5 cans of soda a day, sometimes they are larger fountain drinks, sometimes they are the 20 oz. bottles, regardless of what type of soda it is or how it's obtained, from the moment I finish my coffee in the morning to the moment I go to bed at night, I have a soda within arms reach at all times. 

I've been thinking about the soda problem for awhile now.  What is it about it that makes me have to have it so much?  I equate it to a constant need to be doing something.  If I'm sitting at work, in the zone, getting a ton of stuff done, anytime, if even for a second I'm not doing something, I need to fill that empty space with something - that act of taking care of the empty spot for me is grabbing a sip of soda.  Thats why it is always in arms reach.  When I'm driving and get stuck at a stop light, I grab the soda sitting in the cup holder and take a sip.  If I'm sitting at my computer at home and am waiting for an IM from someone, I grab a sip of soda.  I litterally fill every void with a sip of soda.  I don't know why that is and to be honest, I don't know when it started.  All I know is it's not right and it's not healthy.  Last night I decided to replace the soda with water. 

So far today I haven't had a sip of soda.  I do have my water in arms reach though.  I'm still going for it just as often as well - but I imagine I've already saved myself at least a few hundred calories today and it's just a few minutes before 2 PM here.  Water - love it!

I've decided that Saturdays will be the official 'Progress Report'.  Each Saturday morning I will weigh myself and take a picture.  We will correspond that weight with the picture and I'll report on how I'm feeling and what I'm noticing that's different, etc.  For the sake of not wanting to feel inhibited in any way, I will follow my anonymous rule.  The approach should be a no holds barred, in your face account of my experiment.

Step one today is no soda.  It's a small step I think, but an important one.  It seemed like the logical thing to do, since to me, it's an addiction like any other.  So far I have no complaints and this water thing isn't so bad.  Something tells me I'm making a few more trips to the bathroom than I was before though.

Be sure to read the informative and motivational artical for the day.

The Start of a New Life

It's been a long time coming.  This year has been full of more pondering than any other so far in my life.  Some would say, due to my age, that it's a quarter-life crisis.  They could be right.  But quite frankly, I don't care what the label is.  There is one thing that has plagued me my entire life (at least as long as I can remember) and that is my weight.

No matter how you try to sugar-coat it, I'm fat.  By today's standards, I'm obese.  I'm a statistic that is being talked about more and more in the US and I'd imagine the same is true for most of the world.  The American Obesity Association states that currently in the US alone, approximately 127 million adults are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese.  The AOA provides a nice Obesity Fact Sheet along with a BMI calculator to help you figure out where exactly you fall.

So it's a matter of what has brought me here.  As I said, I have been overweight for as long as I can remember.  As much as people would like to say "For the love of God, just put the candy bar down!!" I don't even like candy!  I truly don't feel I eat that much more than the average sized person.  Granted, I don't keep a healthy lifestyle, the point is I'm not a pig.  I've got fat friends and I've got skinny friends, and to be honest, my eating habits are closer to that of my thinner friends.  I equate most of my weight problem to a few issues: I am lazy, not active and not watching what I eat.  Combine that with a slower than most metabolism and you have a 60-70 lb weight problem.  A BMI of 34.  Obesity.

I never bothered trying to take the weight off until a little bit after high-school.  At that time, I was fortunate enough to get to experience an average sized body for about 2 years.  I lost 62 lbs. in just under 4 months by exercising 4 times a week and eating extremely healthy.  I was drinking a gallon of water a day.  To this day I firmly believe I took a healthy approach to the weight loss.  I felt better than ever before regardless of how fast the weight came off.  I wasn't starving myself by any means.  But there is truth in the fact that the weight came off fast and I feel that the new habits I created were not strong enough by the time new life experiences came about.  It was easier to go back to the 'easier' way of doing things.  2 years later, most of the weight was back and I was purchasing big clothes again. 

Since then it's been a roller-coaster ride.  I'm 220 lbs. as I write this.  When I lost all the weight I was 158 lbs.  Over the course of the last 6 years I've bounced time and time again, anywhere from 190 to 240 lbs.  240 lbs was my absolute worst.  I had never weighed that much before and when I realized I was wearing size 40" waist jeans I immediately worked to get that back down to 220.  It seems that 220 has been the magic number.  I have no problem keeping that weight.  But I'm still fat.  Fat enough that I'm 5'8" and wearing size 38" jeans.

So I'm on a mission to obliterate this weight once and for all.  I would like to try multiple methods including a lot of what I used originally so that over the course of 1 year, I will be somewhere in the range of 150 to 160 lbs.  That means I need to lose 60 to 70 lbs.  Now I know what some of you are saying, the number doesn't matter - but I've done this before, I know where my weight SHOULD be and I know that the numbers are what helps the motivation.  My goal is in site, and that is step one. 

I've decided to catalog the process.  The way I see it, what better way to motivate yourself than to be able to see it happening from day one?  Especially if other people are reading it and (hopefully) being motivated as well.  When I lost the weight in 1998 I wished time and time again, and I still do, that I had kept a journal of it, how I felt, what was going through my mind, what I changed in the process and why I changed it, weekly pictures documenting the physical aspect and changes as well as what I found helped and what didn't help.  Everyday at that time was a learning process, but how easily it can be forgotten.  I'd like to rekindle the motivation and determination as well as take advantage of the opportunities of doing it a second time - taking care of what I didn't take care of the first time.

Tomorrow marks day one.  August 1st, 2006 marks the grand finale.  369 days cataloging every facet of a life-change that comes up.  What happens from now until then will be historical!